If you are considering adoption while you are pregnant or continuing through the adoption process after the birth of your child or already living the adoption experience as a birth parent, pain and/or loss will be a reality for you.
Some of Hope Services staff know that reality personally. Some had support and understanding through the grief of not parenting a child they gave birth to and others stuffed away the thoughts and feelings because they had nowhere to turn for the support they needed. The ones that had the support have had healthier emotional lives.
It is natural to think you want to ‘get back into your favorite blue jeans’ and ‘get on with your life’ after your child has been placed for adoption. The reality is that having a baby is a life-changing experience with a multitude of hormonal changes and new emotions.
If this is your first baby, you are a new mother. Adoption or not, you will forever be a mother. If you add the adoption placement of your child to your already full plate of emotions, you have a huge platter full of stuff to deal with. There may be times of doubting and second-guessing a decision you felt was so right just a short time ago.
Adoption-related grief is not just the same as other grief experiences. It is fairly complicated and overwhelming at times. The team at Hope Services understands the importance of support as you make your way through the maze of the stages and faces of grief. That’s why Hope has a birth parent group that meets on a regular basis. You just come as often as you are able to attend or as often as you feel it meets a need for you personally. Processing grief in a healthy way should result in building hope and confidence for your life as you approach your future.
The purpose of the Birth Parent Group is to give you tools to equip you and to surround you with a team of other ‘builders’. Long-term and meaningful friendships are also built through this informal and non-threatening group experience.
The Birth Parent Group meets regularly every other week. It is an informal meeting where birth moms are free to talk about their experiences with others who have walked a similar journey. We also have various social gatherings throughout the year to help birth moms stay connected. Christmas and Mother’s Day are important days that we honor and celebrate our birth parents.
If distance prevents you from attending the Birth Parent Group and you would like to have connections to others with similar experiences, email MaryLou at hopesupports@shaw.ca or phone her at 1-800-916-4673.
"Hope Services has always been there for me. Throughout the pregnancy there has always been someone to help me through every step of the way. After my child was placed I felt lost and felt quite alone. MaryLou and the birth mother support group has helped tremendously. I know when I go there I don't even have to be talking about my child but I know that every person there knows what I am going through. We have a bond and it makes for a very nice environment to be in. I can be free to talk about anything because we all have experienced the same thing, but just in different ways. I recommend anyone who has given their child up to join this group because you are not only connecting with other people you are also building friendships, someone you can call if you are having a bad day and need to talk.” - Brenda
* Hope Services acknowledges that a person is not a birth parent until the expected child is born. The term ‘birth mother’ or ‘birth parent’ is used on this website, however, an appropriate substitute may be ‘pregnant and considering options’. Birth parent also might mean or include birth father.
Birth Father Connection
Hope Services will connect birth fathers to their peers (other birth fathers). Sometimes this results in a group of guys getting together to discuss their feelings and/or concerns.
Email hopesupports@shaw.ca or 1-800-916-4673.